SlimSleezy

It’s crazy to me how influential music can be. My mood very heavily depends on what I’m listening to at that moment in time. Today Foster the People put me in a good mood all day.

#iphone #music

Gonna start making some steps towards my goals. I’ve spent most of my life scared to try something due to my intense fear of failing. I need to embrace the risk and know it will pay off when I succeed! Which I will..

I feel as though I’ve been judged my whole life by everyone that surrounds me whether it be family or friends or even just acquaintances they have no business judging someone besides themselves. Being judged so much at a young age has molded me into a creation based on others views and something I’m not happy with at times. Who am I? What do I want to be? I’m still a work in progress that’s for sure.

Well I have to much of it and it definitely affects my life negatively. Its a hard character defect to handle

Many times a week I have this gut feeling that I should be doing something else with my life. Something I enjoy more. Maybe having these feelings several times a week is a strong indication that the move would be the right thing to do. I need to take steps toward that progression in my life.

Since getting clean in 08 I’ve decided to dedicate my life to remaining clean and aspiring to help others do the same. The lifestyle is such a tragic thing to happen to somebody and greatly affects their life in anyway imaginable. Family, friends and loved ones all feel that butterfly effect that is created from an addicts behaviors. It killed me to see how much my drug use actually affected my family. While using I had the mentality that my behavior wasn’t affecting anyone but myself, as long as I didn’t use right in front of them. Oh how wrong I was. That’s one reason I want to become involved in recovery whether it be: counseling, sponsoring or attending and speaking at meetings I want to help addicts in any way possible. I often times find myself thinking of millions of reasons why I should stop going to meetings and I believe it’s my addiction trying to regain control. I attended a meeting this past Wednesday night and I’ve been on a sobriety high for the past two days. Just reconfirming my love and passion for sobriety. One day at a time. To thine own self be true!

Time to refocus on some certain aspects of my life. Character defects are starting to creep back in my life and I need to shut them off. My addiction is always doing push ups and getting stronger when I’m resting and getting weaker from not forcing myself to do the things I know I need to do.

One particular subject that is close to my heart is the widespread abuse of opiates currently going on in the world. I’ve been clean for 3 years now but I still have nightmares of the life I used to live. Waiting in parking lots for dealers so I could get high and the body aches I would suffer from withdrawals are something I definitely don’t miss. Seeing or hearing of others suffering from this dark lifestyle that leads nowhere just kills me. Hopefully this epidemic will soon die off and no longer haunt the lives of people that don’t deserve that lifestyle. SERENTIY!

I decided to join the new years resolution craze and make a few of my own. Although I won’t list exact details of my resolutions I can tell you that just after a few weeks into the new year I can honestly say my resolutions have greatly improved my life. My over all attitude and feelings toward my future are at a point where I’m proud of what I’ve become as a person. I have new personal goals both on a education level and on a emotion and a physical level as well. I’m constantly on a pursuit of happiness. Namaste!